{"id":13345,"date":"2017-12-22T14:54:23","date_gmt":"2017-12-22T09:09:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dorjegurung.com\/blog\/?p=13345"},"modified":"2026-03-13T22:03:53","modified_gmt":"2026-03-13T22:03:53","slug":"attitude-of-nepali-women-towards-abusive-behavior-by-their-mothers-in-law","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/attitude-of-nepali-women-towards-abusive-behavior-by-their-mothers-in-law\/","title":{"rendered":"Attitude of Nepali Women Towards Abusive Behavior by Their Mothers-in-law"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This is the fourth blog post in the series summarizing some results of the Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey (MICS) 2010<\/a> and 2014<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the first one \u201cLet\u2019s Raise Children Who Won\u2019t Have to Recover From Their Childhoods\u201d<\/a> reproducing results of child disciplining methods in the country, I argued how we are raising children who will have to recover from their childhood but that there are alternatives. In Child Discipline Methods in Nepal By Regions, Zones etc.<\/a> I produced charts showing how child discipline methods vary around the country. In Nepal: Patriarchy-Shaped Laxed Attitudes Towards Wife-beating<\/a> I reproduced 2014 survey results showing just that and discussed how to tackle that as a nation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the rituals in a Hindu wedding ceremony in Nepal symbolizes the “death” of the bride<\/a>. I suspect the ritual serves as a confirmation and reinforcement of the belief that, having given her hand in marriage to a man — yes, most marriages in Nepal are still arranged<\/a> — and his family, she now “belongs” to them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Furthermore, while in her own family, her father and other members of her immediate family would have played a significant role in her life, in her new home, those roles transfer to her husband and her mother-in-law. As for responsibilities, in addition to raising her own family with her husband, she is also expected help her husband look after his family!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A women in Nepal, therefore, potentially faces domestic violence not just from her husband, but, interestingly enough, also from her mother-in-law!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Domestic violence against women in the country is pretty dire. To reinforce that, I reproduce something I shared in Nepal: Patriarchy-Shaped Laxed Attitudes Towards Wife-beating<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Societal Violence Scale<\/a> (SVC)Nepal, in 2014, scored a 5 out of 5<\/a>. (The higher the score, the more violent a society.) Here’s the descriptor for level 5:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Violence against members of the group is ubiquitous<\/strong> in scope and egregious<\/strong> in nature. It affects a large proportion<\/strong> of the population of the group and assumes a variety of forms. [Emphasis mine.]<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

What follows are charts summarizing the attitudes of women towards her mother-in-law verbally abusing and threatening her daughter-in-law. While the pattern is pretty much the same as their attitudes towards wife-beating, they are considerably more laxed! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Incidentally, one of the reasons for the preference of boys is their social security role for aging parents. But of course, the son “takes care” of his parents by bringing home a wife…to do a lot of the work! I have heard that, more and more daughters are taking care of NOT only the parents of their husbands, but also their own! I would love to see a study of the rate at which women are stepping in for their brothers.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s their attitude towards abusive behavior by mothers-in-law broken by area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following chart shows the difference in attitude by education level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, as I pointed out in the other blog post about women’s attitude towards wife-beating<\/a>, higher level of education among women in the country is abysmally low as you can see from the chart below. About 89% of Nepali women don’t have more than a high school diploma (SLC and Equivalent)!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following shows variation in attitude by wealth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Education level and wealth, I am sure, partly, if not entirely, explains the significantly different attitudes of women in Kathmandu Valley and the Central Region — where the valley is located — from the rest. The valley probably has the highest concentration of the educated and wealthy in the country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And attitude by marital status is as one would expect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The country is extremely diverse geographically, culturally and ethnically. Geographically, it is divided into three Ecological Zones, and politically into five Development Regions as shown below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, as pointed out in the other blog post in the series<\/a>, there is obviously significant variations in culture, ethnicity, as well as the local economy between Regions and Zones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That variation is also, of course, reflected in the attitudes (and behaviors) of the people, including women’s attitudes towards abusive behavior by mothers-in-law.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following two charts show that variation by Development Region and Ecological Zone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following three charts show the variation in attitudes among Development Regions within each of the Ecological Zones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There you have it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As for the solution, I have discussed that at length in Nepal: Patriarchy-Shaped Laxed Attitudes Towards Wife-beating<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do you think?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

References<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Added after the publication of the blog post.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Click here<\/a> for a short video containing the most up-to-date data and commentary by Meera Dhungana, an advocate, posted less than a week ago! [Added Sept. 28, 2018.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Record<\/em> (Sept. 2017). Violence against women in Nepal is intensifying<\/a>. [Added Sept. 28, 2018.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Record<\/em> (March 28, 2018). Why does rape have a low conviction rate in Nepal?<\/a> [Added Sept. 28, 2018.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Record<\/em> (April 2, 2018). Rampant domestic violence goes unpunished<\/a>. [Added Sept. 28, 2018.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mahila Khabar<\/em> (Female News). \u092e\u0939\u093f\u0932\u093e \u092e\u0928\u094d\u0924\u094d\u0930\u093e\u0932\u092f\u0915\u094b \u091a\u0930\u092e \u0932\u093e\u092a\u0930\u092c\u093e\u0939\u0940\u0903 \u092a\u094d\u0930\u0924\u093f\u0935\u0947\u0926\u0928\u0938\u0901\u0917\u0948 \u0939\u0930\u093e\u092f\u094b \u0936\u0940\u0918\u094d\u0930 \u0928\u094d\u092f\u093e\u092f<\/a>. This year. based on based on cases reported — I repeat, REPORTED — to the police, on average 34 women suffer from domestic violence DAILY! Given the stigma against BEING A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND NOT A PERPETRATOR, I am willing to wager that, even by my very very conservative estimate, the actual number is at least 3X that! [Added Sept. 28, 2018.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Kathmandu Post<\/em> (Sept. 29, 2018). More women report domestic violence<\/a>. “J had been married for 20 years, during which she was subjected to relentless domestic violence. She never got along with her mother-in-law and often had to endure her husband\u2019s drunken behaviour.” […] “The findings of the women\u2019s commission are similar to the findings of the most recent Nepal Demographic Health Survey, which showed that nearly a third of all married women in Nepal had experienced some kind of physical, emotional and sexual violence from their husbands.” [Added Oct. 2, 2018.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Over 60% of Nepali women believe that a mother-in-law is justified in verbally abusing and threatening her daughter-in-law for any one of six reasons!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":13344,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Attitude of Nepali Women Towards Abusive Behavior by Their Mothers-in-law","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[104],"tags":[576,352,150,428,151,485,433,489],"class_list":["post-13345","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social-justice","tag-gender","tag-gender-bias","tag-gender-equality","tag-gender-issues","tag-gender-based-discrimination","tag-gender-based-violence","tag-patriarchy","tag-violence-at-home"],"blocksy_meta":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Chart-1-attitude-towards-abuse-by-mother-in-law-by-area-75px-feat-image.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Jbro-3tf","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13345","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13345"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13345\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29771,"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13345\/revisions\/29771"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13344"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dorjegurung.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}