• Post category:Leisure & Musings
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(No) Parking in Kathmandu!
(No) Parking in Kathmandu!

I have been meaning to run my own election campaign for a while now…not to try to get people to vote for me mind you! I have NOT even declared my candidacy for a post! My election campaign is rather for the kind of candidate to vote!

No election in the history of our country have produced public officials who have actually provided the level and kind of public service the country needs. I think I know why.

We have been electing the WRONG KIND of people. We need to elect the kind who drive motorcycles or scooters! Yes, you read that right! The kind of people we need to elect in the upcoming elections are motorcyclists.

To convince you, I have compiled thirteen (!) reasons!

1. ALWAYS Looking to Get in Front and Ahead

They are always looking to pass vehicles as well as pedestrians (those slow pokes!) that are in front of them, no matter where they are, no matter the traffic situation they find themselves in, no matter the weather conditions or the condition of the roads etc. With pedestrians, motorcyclists are especially good at passing in front of them even when they are in the middle of the road at a crosswalk!

2. Forward Thinking

In trying to pass vehicles in front of them at all times, they are ALWAYS thinking about where they could be, how far ahead of everyone else they could be.

3. They Value Time

Unlike most Nepalis, motorcyclists are ALWAYS in a hurry to get to their destination. Displaying such urgency in wherever they are going, to do whatever it is that they are going there to do, you can tell how much more they value time than the rest of us!

4. Incredibly Creative and Resourceful

They can turn a two-lane street into three lanes, a three-lane one to five, etc. How do they do that? They convert the white divider-lines into lanes in their own right — they ride on them or stop on them etc.!

In doing so, they also show excellent physical balancing skills! Given how expertly they balance their motorcycles on those broken white lines, I wouldn’t be surprised if they are able to balance a number of other things in their lives too, such as their personal, domestic and professional lives etc.

Plus, no matter what, no matter where, no matter the time of the day or night, no matter the kind of road or highway, no matter the kind of traffic or weather, they are able to find a way out of any and every kind of sticky situation. In Kathmandu, in so doing, they are able to even leave — far behind — ambulances to eat dust (a fairly readily available consumable on the streets of the city, might I add).

Another evidence of their creativity, which you can observe readily in Kathmandu, is the ease with which they turn a zebra crossing (crosswalk) into a waiting station for the “Go” signal.

5. They Keep Everyone on Their Toes

One of the reasons we are lagging so far behind is our collective lethargy, and our general apathy towards everything. Motorcyclists are the exceptions. If you have walked on the streets and/or driven around, you know what I am talking about. You have to be vigilant, super careful and watchful, while on the streets for those two-wheelers. You never know what they’ll do and are capable of doing. They have always surprised and freaked me out anyway!

6. They Never Give Up

Whereas, when most Nepalis and those on the streets and highways of the country come across an obstacle or a hindrance, they are prone to just throwing their hands up in the air and giving up and just waiting for something to happen or for someone else to do something, motorcyclists don’t!

A jam? Road works? A hold up of some kind or another? A rapid stream on the road? I have yet to see a motorcyclist deterred by any of that!

7. They Are Mavericks, Daredevils and Risk-takers

They will drive down the wrong side of the road to get to their destination. They will break pretty much every traffic rule and regulation and defy any authority to hold them accountable.

They’ll hit the streets and highways without any head protection for their pillion riders, whether they have one or two or three of them, or whether they are their girlfriend or wife or child or a friend etc. No one else I know takes such risks with the lives of others the way motorcyclists do! No one!

They’ll also drive around with earphones plugged to their ears listening to their favorite band while zooming around! I am a chicken; I, not being a motorcyclist, would NEVER be such a daredevil and take such risks!

Such leaders are what we need!

8. Amazing at Cutting Corners

Motorcyclists know how to cut corners! There are the usual…when they have to cut real corners, which they do with ease. But check out any place where vehicles have to queue up (like a gas/petrol station) for example. While the rest of the suckers, like cars and buses, have to — and do — queue up, motorcyclists nonchalantly maneuver themselves through, and around, the queue and position themselves ahead of everyone else waiting around stupidly patiently.

Surely, they must also be experts at cutting corners in other places and ways!

9. Single-minded and Goal-oriented

That they find a way of any sticky traffic situation and can overcome any road conditions also shows that nothing can stop them or hold them back or stop them from reaching their destination, their goal.

Another evidence for that is their ubiquitous earphones dangling from their ears. That shows how focused, single-minded and goal-oriented they are. They don’t have the ears — or the time — for distraction by extraneous noise and sounds, which, until a just several months ago, used to be ubiquitous, nasty and really annoying.

10. They Are Muti-taskers

While zooming around on their two-wheelers, it’s a common sight to see them with either their earphones stuck into their ears or their mobile phones stuck against their ear. What that indicates is that they are able to listen to music and/or talk on the phone while, at the same time, constantly thinking about getting ahead of everyone in front of them, constantly cutting corners and also constantly cutting those pesky pedestrians off (even at zebra crossing) etc.

11. They Are Deadly Cool

It’s NOT uncommon for them to be zooming around with their fancy helmet just perched on their head, with the part that should be under their chin just above their forehead. It’s not unusual to see them with their helmet strap just hanging loose. Earphones dangling from their ears…that is even cooler!

The coolest is when they drive around with a female pillion rider with her hair flowing in the wind instead of being tucked inside a helmet!

12. Hip, Young and in Tune

Most motorcyclists are young and hip, unlike most of our esteemed senior leaders. Why go for the old, sick and possibly the senile who are completely out of touch with the population?! There are almost four times as many motorcycles than all of the rest of the vehicles combined! Who therefore would have a better feel for the the pulse of the population? A motorcyclist or someone who gets around in an SUV? A motorcyclist of course!

13. Best at Getting Around Rules and Regulation

This is the most important of them all! In a country where those who can do that rule supreme, motorcyclists are King. Over the more than twenty-five year of successful kakistocracy history of the country, motorcyclists, to me now, appear to be the ones most qualified to make it to the top for that reason alone. Given the amazing leaders they have been — on the streets and highways leading the way in every single way — I see great potential for them. They will also lead and prevail when elected to political office.

Given all their traits and characteristics outlined above, they’ll surely be successful in getting us all to think and act like them leading by example — on the streets and highways and elsewhere — and, in turn, enable us to personally benefit from our free-for-any-and-all political and economic systems.

What do you think?


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