Another way the universe appeared to have conspired to send me home was the racism it sent my way! ;) I experienced a lot of harassment and abuse from locals in Baku as well as in Doha. I was also profiled by establishments in both the cities angering me greatly and compounding my depression, as well as adding to my weariness with moving and traveling. Nepal's attractiveness had been increasing steadily.
One of the many issues I identified growing up in Nepal, which I believed would be the source of many unwarranted struggles to make something of myself, had been my severe lack of social capital. So, I worked really hard to escape from the country. Succeeding in doing so and spending most of my adult life abroad, I practically ensured I would have even less social capital when I finally returned home! #LifeEh!
Was the universe putting obstacles in my way to direct me homewards? While I enjoyed both teaching and traveling, issues at work and outside -- especially ones based on my nationality and/or skin color -- were making it harder and harder for me to continue to do so. With time, I also discovered my options for places I could seek work decreasing. I even lost a job!
Another #LifeEh observation. This one about how I did everything I could to leave behind, "escape" from, and rise above the yoke of the Bhote label...only to return to Nepal as a middle-aged man after spending pretty much all my adult life abroad studying, working, and traveling just to discover I have come full circle!
All the time I was abroad, even while preparing for the eventuality of returning to Nepal, I had never had a timeline. The first time I contemplated a timeline was the Summer of 2009: I gave myself five years. In February 2013, almost four years later, I decided, the time was right to return. Timing was right for a number of reasons, namely, financial, career, weariness with moving, and a little one at home.
Starting in the mid-nineties, I had the opportunity to travel to Nepal as well as live and work in the country briefly. I also traveled and trekked a great deal during that period. Doing so, I learned a great deal about my country and people. As amazing as some of those experiences were, especially the treks, discoveries I made about some of our systems left me wondering if Nepalis are second class citizens in their own country.