• Post category:Leisure & Musings
  • Reading time:5 mins read

Given that on the roads and streets of Kathmandu, there is but only one rule, and that rule is: there are no rules

Given that on the roads and streets of Kathmandu when, what, how and why anything moves is ruled by horns

Given that on the roads and streets of Kathmandu, honking is a favorite past-time of drivers

Given that on the roads and streets of Kathmandu, everyone does what everyone else is doing all the time, everywhere, for the simple reason that everyone else is doing it, such as driving on the wrong side of the road

Given that on the roads and streets of Kathmandu, drivers believe something works because everyone does it, like honking to break up a traffic jam…

Given that hardly anyone in Kathmandu is on time for anything and the reason is that only on the roads and streets of the city does time actually matter to the Nepaelese (everyone on the roads and streets of the city is in a hurry ALL THE TIME…though they are in a hurry just to be late)…

Given that the reason that Kathmandu traffic is so amazing — if you know what I mean — is thanks to our perseverance, rsourcefulness, flexibility and accomodating nature, and our resilence

Given that on the roads and streets of Kathmandu, pedestrians walking across a zebra crossing (crosswalk) must show deference to vehicular traffic…

(I have on good authority that, during the inconsequential written and practical tests for a driving license, everyone is taught that zebra crossings are actually for zebras, just as the name suggests, and not for humans! Obviously, if you didn’t know that, you are a pedestrian! Now you know though! But shhh…don’t tell everyone!)

Given that on the roads and streets of Kathmandu, safety of pedestrians are taken very very seriously and that they don’t take any chances — even footpaths in front of the gates of an establishment (see image below) is marked with white lines…

 

crosswalk-on-the-%22pavement%22-17-31-17
Zebra crossing right in front of the Narayanhiti Palace Museum gates!

Given that after the abolishment of the monarchy, we seem to have elevated ten times their family members into their slot, for whom we have to clear the roads and streets etc. when they are plying them…

Given that whenever one of those fake royalties (VVIP) ply the streets, we mere mortals have to suffer (just as we do when fake doctors treat us or fake pilots try to fly our planes etc. )…

Which finally brings me to the point I am getting at….

Wednesday, two days ago, I felt I had to find a solution to the suffering we have to endure because of those VVIPs. You see, I suffered from one of those VVIP on the streets that day. It’s true what they say: unless you have experienced something, you don’t know what it feels like!

I suffered through a massive traffic jams in parts of the city and really really sluggish traffic in other parts and I didn’t like it. No one was able to clear and control the traffic! Even the horns were useless! That morning a distance I normally covered in 15 min. in “normal” Kathmandu traffic, took me 45. During the day, travelling a distance that should have taken no more than 30 min, took an hour!

It was then, that I realised we don’t have to take that inconvenience (of having to sit in our car waiting and honking) just lying down, as they say, but in this case just sitting around in our car doing all that we do for nothing. So, naturally, I came up with a brilliant idea to fight the problem.

Knowing the only thing the government and/or those in authority respond to are strikes and protests, I thought, “Why not do just that?”

Hear me out, I mean read me out… Ok, that didn’t come out right. But you know what I mean.

Here’s the reasoning, “Since you can’t get around easily driving in Kathmandu, even on best of days anyways, and when VVIP’s are on the streets you can’t get anywhere, even very very late, what’s the point of even driving?!” (Those of you who drive in Kathmandu for leisure, I am not talking to you!)

In other words, “Can’t drive? Don’t drive! No one drives!”

How about that?!


That is the only and the most brilliant Kathmanduesque response to that problem! I am sure you agree, no?

Details of how it should be carried out will be coming soon!

Rest assured, there will be benefits galore…to many different people, to all kinds and levels of people — the poor, the rich, the high castes, the low castes, the Bhotes, the Madhesis, the Khas, the Janjatis, the Adivasis, the men, the women, the children, the young, the old, the living, the missing, the dead…ok maybe not the missing and the dead! Got carried away a little there trying to be super inclusive, trying to do better than those VVIPs and our political leaders!

We don’t need The Most Interesting Man in The World to drive Kathmandu.

We can drive it ourselves. We can drive Katmandu by NOT driving!

Trust me on this!

Who is with me?

 

 

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